Smudges and their causes! 

 

 

 

 

Like many houses, we have large windows in our lounge, one of which is a sliding patio door.  Naturally with assorted grandchildren, grand nieces and nephews the panes within, can be ‘pains’ regarding finger-marks!

 

Before older grand n & n’s start complaining, I should point out there's another culprit, and HE or more accurately his ‘hooter’ is the source of many smudges and blots upon the strengthened Pilkingtons!

 

The reason for these blemishes? Well it’s the hunting of buzzers and whizzers.  In the summer of course the door is open and various flighty insects pop in and out, and as far as the lad is concerned they come to irritate him when snoozing or watching one of the many sports channels.

 

A buzz, and the hunt is on!  As you know, most whizzers eventually make their way to the windows in a room and here, the patio doors being the biggest, they naturally get the most attention. Bing has a mighty reach, and can often be seen when on the hunt, reaching up the windows with hooter at its fullest extent.

 

Frankly, I have to recount his success is minimal. He often, having cornered his prey, ‘paffs’ them with his hooter – causing very little harm! I’m of the opinion that the chase is the thing, and having, once upon a time, tasted one of these pesky critters and not relished the event, he now lets ‘em off with a warning.

 

‘Crumbs guv, there’s a real perisher about today.’

‘Really Bing, a buzzer or whizzer?’

 

For the uninitiated, a ‘buzzer’ can be classified as a bee, wasp and very occasional 'lost' dragonfly! ‘Whizzers’ on the other hand are every other sort of flighty insect!

 

‘Whizzer aged g, it’s being a right blighter and frankly old poop, my concentration on the Shanghai open has been marred by his aerobatic antics!’

 

‘You’ve given him a ‘paff’ I take it?’

 

‘Cor not half guv, but he seems totally uninterested in my attentions.’

 

‘I could find some spray I guess.’

 

‘Certainly not, good heavens old puffer, that’s not the right attitude is it?’

 

‘Well….’

 

‘No, no….eventually, we will reach an understanding!’

 

As ‘autumbruary’ continues to run its course, the visits of the above are starting to be less frequent, and I’m hoping the smudges on the aforementioned windows decrease.

 

 

Yeah right!