"I think I can....I think I can........I....."

There will be a few (or maybe not.) who may have heard a recording of a couple of steam engines, coupled together, chuffing their way up the Lickey incline.

Don’t panic if you haven’t, just think of the sound of two steam engines puffing in tandem in quite a laboured way!

This paricular ‘double header,’ is led by an eager ‘engine’ followed by a rather wheezy old ‘chuffer’ who cant believe he’s been persuaded to follow in the wake of an undimmed ‘puller.’ The crest of this Lickey incline (actually the top of our local hill in Lowtown!)

‘Bing I need to stop!’

‘Come on old huff and puff, we’re nearly there.’

The old bloaters boiler is close to bursting!

About twenty feet ahead on the level, a log is waiting for me, and I trundle on, legs aching and nose sniffing.

The log is bliss, and while I get up a second burst of steam, the lad wanders here and there checking various ground scents and then hooter raised, he sniffs the air around.

The mere movement towards my coat pocket, brings the lad to heel, and a treat is proffered.

 

‘Thanks guv.’

Nosh is taken, and the lad settles for a moment.

‘I thought I’d never manage to haul you up here gaffer, as we neared the top, I thought you sounded as if you needed oiling!’

‘Thanks for that Bing, I’m afraid I’m not as fleet of foot as I was.’

‘When was that guv? When you were a Roundhead or Cavalier?’

The lad saw a programme about the civil war last week, and feels sure I look rather like one of the ruins Cromwell knocked about a bit!

‘Bingo?’

‘Yes guv?’

‘Do your really think I could possibly have been a Roundhead or Cavalier?’

‘Well I was giving you the benefit of the doubt, I guess you’re a lot older than that eh?’

‘Certainly not!’

‘Ooop’s.’

‘Really your idea of history leaves a lot to be desired.’

‘Hey, I’m a hound guv, I do my best in what is after all a very confusing matter.’

‘Perhaps it would be a good idea if I gave you some lessons on history and such.’

The lad gave a low growl and started sniffing the air.

‘Perhaps, old poop, it would be a good idea if I gave you some lessons on canine matters?’

‘You think that would be beneficial?’

‘Certainly guv, certainly.’

‘And what could you teach me?’

‘Well old codger, perhaps you might like to know why a chap like me would never, ever, choose to sit where you have.’

As he spoke I was aware of the hint of moisture seeping into my trousers in around the seating area.

‘O nuts, have I sat in a log puddle once again?’

‘Simple observation guv, your lack of it is just the sort of thing observant chaps like me would never do. After all wasn’t it that old cove Raliegh who popped his cloak over a puddle, thus saving good Queen Bess and her lack of wellies?’

I receive a proverbial smack on the gob!

‘I’m amazed Bing where on earth did you find out about that?’

‘On that History Channel guv.’

‘History Channel?’

‘Haven’t you ever watched it old bloater?’

‘um…..er…….’

‘I rest my case guv.’

‘G…golly’

‘And guv, you have dunked your bottom for quite long enough! The ducks are quacking on the pond, and we should pop by and say hello, before wandering home.’

We set off down hill, and now it’s me trying to haul back the engine in front, as he trundles on, tail wagging and hooter working overtime!