Golly how time flies when you're having......................fun!

 

‘Fancy a stroll guv?’

‘Stroll? Do I fancy a stroll?

‘Certainly guv, certainly.’

‘Have you seen what it’s like out there?’

‘Well, it’s a bit grey and dull looking.’

‘A bit grey and dull looking? It’s misty, nay, positively gloomy and damp. It’s definitely cold, and not at all the sort of day when any sensible chap would venture out.’

‘Really?’

‘Yes really Bing.’

‘M’mmm……

................oh look the sun’s come out!’

‘Sun? That’s a car passing with its fog lights on!’

‘Are you sure guv?’

I try not to sound too sarcastic when the car passes and I reply…

‘Oh look Bing the sun’s gone back in again.’

‘M’mmm.’

‘I’m sorry young man, but if you think there is any chance that this old poop standing in front of you, is prepared to venture out into that….’ I gesticulate towards the scene outside. ‘Then you are even more barking than I thought!’

Less than 5 minutes later we are strolling along the pavement, the lad up front positively beaming!

-o0o-

    

A mist is upon the forest, and with it, a chilling dampness. There is a ghostly silence, broken only by the snap of a twig, as I follow in the wake of a certain chap. Despite the morning, he is delighting in getting out and about once again. He is impervious to the meteorological conditions, and the less than enchanted grumps of his companion.

Fortunately, the lad and I know our way about this part of the ancient forest, despite journeying along a less familiar path we have a good idea of our general whereabouts.

‘Bing, shouldn’t we have reached the brook by now?’

‘Brook?’

‘Yes, you know the wet thing you’ve dragged me through at least a couple of times?’

‘Are you sure that was me guv?’

I’m afraid there have been at least two other dogs that have dragged me through the wet stuff over the years, but never one quite so consistently as the boy Bing! These thoughts are interrupted as I nearly stumble over the lad in front who’s suddenly halted and gone to ground.

‘Steady guv.’ The lad whispers.

‘Sorry Bing, what’s up?’

‘Someone’s trundling about over there.’

Fortunately there’s a convenient stump to sit on, as Bing continues to peer into the murk.

Suddenly I nearly jump out of my skin when the lad gives one of his very best hound calls! Think Hound of the Baskervilles, and you won’t be far out. We can hear the sound of something trotting away from us.

‘Golly, Bing what was that?’

The lad is ‘hootering’ the air like a good ‘un. I wait, hardly daring to breathe.

Finally he turns to me.

‘Haven’t a clue old fruit. I think it was a deer, it was pretty big what ever it was.’

‘I see.’

‘Do you guv, I can hardly see the end of my hooter!’

‘Right that’s it, if you don’t know where we are, then I think we should try and retrace our steps.’

‘Or trundle over the bridge over there?’

‘What Bridge?’

The lad moves off and within moments we are rumbling over the wooden bridge that will lead us to the pond and the road home!

As we sit in the kitchen, Bing suitably dried off, and me delighting in a steaming cuppa, the lad speaks.

‘So it was a deer guv.’

‘Goodness Bing how can you be sure of that?’

‘Well guv, naturally my superb hooter generally doesn’t let me down.’

‘I see.’

‘Plus old poop, if you were a tad more observant you would have noticed the fresh droppings just next to the bridge.’

‘I’m afraid looking for droppings, fresh or old is not an observation I care to make when I’m out and about.’

‘Okay guv, but you might like to check the bottom of your left shoe.’

‘Lummy.’

 

‘Lummy indeed old poop!’

　

　

(Talking of lummy….the above was number 100 of these little chats. When I told Bing he said….‘Is that a lot guv?’ I attempted the impossible…‘Can you imagine more snacks than you could eat?’ He almost thought for more than a second…‘No guv.’ – well I did say I attempted the impossible.)