It's someone's Birthday...but you would never guess who?

 

 

2nd September 2014

 

"Now he is Four."

I’ve just been greeted by Bing!

The lad is positively fizzing with bonhomie. Little respect is shown to our settee’s as he leaps and bounces on them both whilst lapping the lounge several times before finally diving headlong on settee number one. This extraordinary performance is completed by, burrowing his head under a cushion.

‘And a good morning to you Bing.’

His ‘wagger’ is almost a blur, and up pops the slightly dishevelled head with beaming countenance.

‘Wotcha guv, you’ll never guess…..’

‘That it’s your Birthday?’

‘Swipe me how did you know?’

‘Well strangely enough your name appears on our Birthday Calendar for this very day.’

‘Well, as you would say guv, slap my thigh and stack me vitals!’

Note to self - I really must watch what I say before Bing, he is liable to blurt out just about anything to anyone.

‘So a Birthday is on the same day each year oh fount of all whatsits?’

‘That's the idea yes.’

‘Next I suppose you're going to tell me how old I am?’

‘Well you are four Bing.’

‘Oh well now you’re just showing off old poop.’

‘Not really Bing, you are four because four years ago today, you first appeared before an unsuspecting world.’

‘So if I’m four…?’

I’m dreading what comes next…..

‘You, old ancient puffer, must be hundreds and hundreds of years old, in fact you’re so old you probably don’t really know how old you are, eh?’

Four years of Bing and I’ve learnt when to give up.

‘Probably Bing.’

‘Quite, quite old wheezer.’

‘My real problem is Bing….’

‘Yes guv?’

‘If I’m as old as, um er well, Methuselah, can I remember where any special Birthday snacks and treats might be?’

‘Guv, I’m sure your thuselah, whatever that is, isn’t so ancient that you’ll have forgotten. I could of course apply my thuselah to the problem, assuming that it is a hooter based chappie.’

Another note to self – don’t complicate matters with words like Methuselah, goodness knows who Bing will insult, by dropping such an ancient into his conversation.

I receive a nudge just below the knee.

‘Ah, you’re still with us then?’

‘For the moment Bing.’

‘Well come on old trundler, lets get cracking on finding the special treats for the lad eh?’

‘Certainly, Bing certainly.’

‘After all, it’d be nice to have before I’m five!’

I receive a wink and he trundles off into the study….the 'hooter of renown' of course....................

 

................knew exactly where they would be all along.