It's that time of year..............again!

The boy Bing is over at ‘Lyons’ spending the day with the old poop, who has ‘broken up’ for the Christmas holidays, and is at this moment adding the finishing touches to some decorations.  

The lad has settled on a settee and is closely noting my efforts I can feel he is simply bursting to ask me something but realizes I’m at a crucial stage and the next few moments could either see me smile or grumble like Scrooge! 

All is well, the branches are in situ and appear to be quite happy to stay there. I perch on a chair and take a slug of coffee. 

A throat is cleared. 

‘Um….er excuse me guv may I ask a question?’ 

This from Bing is very thoughtful, generally he can quiz me endlessly about this, that and such like and so forth……but today he is noting all the preparations for the coming festive time and memories are stirring within the mysterious depths of his mind.

‘What are you wondering about Bing?’ 



‘Well guv it’s like this.’ 

The lad having got my attention rests a paw on my knee and looks very earnestly into my face. 

‘The thing is old poop, I definitely seem to recall a time like this before, but I’m not sure quite what it’s all about.’ 

I look into the earnest eyes and start to consider how deeply I should go into the Christmas story? Finally, I’m about to talk of Christmas both temporal and spiritual when the lad’s hooter starts to gently twitch and within seconds the nostrils are positively flaring with interest, and as if in agreement the lads tail has stared to wag. 

Why? 

Well, into the lounge has come the smell of cooking. Cooking of a Christmasy type, thus the hound bit of Bing has snapped into action. 
As I watch I can see a look of deep thought trundling over the furrowed brow, and computer like he is in the process of wandering around the various ‘scent’ areas within his mind, in search of a memory of this particular pong coming from the kitchen.

I try not to be impatient, as I’m rather relieved that, for the moment I’m saved from explaining the ‘ins and outs’ of Christmas and its various connotations. 

The eyes are narrowing and the tail is beating gently as his inner ‘hooter’ wanders through the labyrinth that is the lads memory.  The steady drumming of tail on carpet becomes stronger, and I can see the seeker is slowly resurfacing from within with an answer! 

‘Crumbs guv it’s time for ol’ Daddy Christmas and so forth…..’ 

‘Correct!’

‘Well I never and if I did, I’d forgotten old poop!’

‘Yes lad it’s that time of year again………’

‘Lummy guv, crumbs and lummy again.’

The realization of all that this particular time means, is slowly working it’s way around his mind and he suddenly freezes and……

‘Gulp guv, oh dear um…….’

‘Ye-e-e-s?’

‘Well I mean to say, cor and here we are again and so forth and lummy and suchlike, flip and oop’s and what, what!’

‘Are you okay Bing?’

I am peered at from a shaggy brow.

‘Well I mean to say, I try and do my best and such but really if ol’ Pappy Christlemus is going to creep up on a chap and take him unawares and the like, well a chap can’t be perfect all the time…….can he?’



‘Bing.’

‘Yes guv?’

The thing about the jolly ol’ gent in red is, he realises that some folk aren’t absolutely perfect.’

‘I see. You mean like you guv?’

‘Me?’

‘Not that I don’t think you are not um…er….’

‘Let us not worry about me Bing, it’s certain chaps that need to be of the very best behaviour.’

‘Lummy guv.’

‘Bing, taking all in all and by and large, by the whiskers on your chin and a long nose, I think once again you have managed to sidle through the “give this lad a treat or three” door, and should be okay for another year.

‘Hurrah!’

I am treated to a lap of honour around the lounge, finished off with a dive onto a settee….I do believe he even managed to click his heels as he landed on the cushions!


I’m reliably informed by those that know, tomorrow Bing is off for a pre-Christmas wash, trim and brush-up…..which will mean next time, you’ll get a less shaggy dog story than usual….









……..thanks Bingo for another ‘interesting’ year!!