Tykes on Bikes!

I believe that if Bing was a smoker, he'd be a pipe man.

I say this because of the way he will thoughtfully chew on a Bonio, savouring it to the maximum, rather like Sherlock Holmes ruminating on a '3 pipe solution.'




We sat on the couch recently, perusing the latest stage of the Tour de France, and noting that none of the crashes (so far) had been caused by over-excited dogs. Well lets face it, their natural desire to grapple with the rubber things with spokes, is thoroughly bred into most dogs.

Thorough bred or not!

According to the boy Bing, it is.... 

'A common misconception that dogs uncontrollably make attempts to disintegrate rubber no matter how fast it may be travelling.'

I said, 'I see' ...although I wasn't so sure.

'Guv, one has to understand that if the 'Great Architect' had meant man to use such means of perambulation, surely he would all have kitted you all out with such appendages.'

'Really Bing?'

'Certainly old poop. It is the lot of dogs to try and even things out.'

'Oh' I said. (I wish I could have thought of something more meaningful.)

Bing sighed, and looked at me benevolently as I tried to argue the case for man.

'Surely' I said, 'Surely, folk can go about without being chased by dogs?'

Of course as I uttered these words I could see his tail wagging, which meant he had the answer to my comment.

'Frankly guv' he said, 'it's up to us dogs to generate fun!'

He rested his chin gently on my knee, and continued....

'The other week we chatted about 'squeakers' in Wimbledon tennis balls, and that suggestion was 'biffed' out of court through mans lack of fun. Now, the thought of enlivening the 'tour' with the occasional 'bereted' hound dodging the 'pack' and cutting out the slow-witted and popping a tyre or two, appears out of the question!'

He's right of course. It's nice to see 'fit' chaps strutting their stuff, but frankly, if a France Television car can 'thwack' a chap; sending him hurtling into another, who lands upside-down in a barbed wire fence; why shouldn't a dog create a little havoc without the ensuing pain for the cyclist?

At this point Bing, yawned and rolled onto the remote control and the screen changed from the 'Yellow' vest presentation to 'Murder She Wrote' and we both subsided into a gentle doze..........






Watching sport can after all, be rather tiring.........