The Commuter belt destination of Lowtown, lies within a major TOWIE (The Only Way is Essex – for those fortunate enough to have missed this particular ‘delight.’) filming location.
Fortunately young Bing is completely unaware of such goings on. It is however ‘not unusual’ to see some extraordinary apparitions teetering about the local Highroad.
Naturally, I would be defined as ‘well old!’ Sadly, such utterances would be made by those, ignorant of the gorgeous girls of the 60’s and 70’s that cheered this aged guv!
Back then, it was not the fashion to spray oneself orange, or to believe the height of sophistication is to carry some poor little ‘mutt’ around in (as Edith Evans would observe) ‘A Handbaaaaaag?’
I shan’t go on, for I’m painfully aware of being hopelessly out of tune with these times.
That little diatribe came about because recently, the boy Bing and I decided to drive over to Southern Lowtown for a leisurely ‘trundle’ around the playing fields.
And so ‘it came to pass’ that we observed the efforts of an ‘orange’ young lady in extraordinarily high heels, grappling with the tremendous camber of the Highroad! Having attained, with enormous effort, the halfway point, the downward slope was tackled with all the deportment of a large stork wearing roller skates! The cameras were rolling, but I fear this fascinating performance will be left languishing on the cutting-room floor.
‘Stone me guv, is that some sort of game?’
‘I don’t think so…not yet’
‘I’ve never seen anyone attempt to move in so many directions all at the same time.’
‘M’mmmm’
Shortly after, we parked the car, and Bingo led the way as usual, and I made every effort to keep up!
‘I see the "kick and chase" nets are up guv.’
‘Yep.’
‘What’s that roped area for aged poop?’
‘That’s the table of the cricket pitch.’
‘Ah Crackit!’
‘Quite,’
‘Is that where they serve up lunch and teatime?’
‘Um….no it’s called the table, as it is the area where the groundsman prepares the wickets.’
‘And they are?’
‘The designated strips upon which the bowler….um…er….bowls.’
‘All seems a bit complicated don’t it guv?’
‘Possibly, but that’s what it’s all about.’
I believe the boy was about to tie me up in ‘sporting knots’, when suddenly, his ears pricked, as a shape streaked towards us, hotly pursued by a harassed walker!
Excited greetings were given and received, and eventually the pair calmed down and having, passed the time of day with the harassed walker, we trundled off in different directions.
‘Mighty fine, young lady.’
‘A cross Poodle, Cocker Spaniel, Bing.’
‘Not cross guv, just a bit excitable.’
‘M’mmm (giggle)….that was a bit of a "Cocker-Poodle-Do" - eh? Ha ha!’
The vast expanse of playing fields engulfed my laugh, and the emptiness gathered it in as if the event had never occurred.
‘You’re an odd sort of codger ain’t yer guv, and that’s a fact!’
This might very well be so, but I cant see things changing………and that, most definitely.…is a fact!
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