Well Snookered!

‘What’s all that about and so forth guv?’

We were watching snooker, and John Higgins was, for the umpteenth time, chalking his cue!

‘Ah, yes well it’s necessary to apply chalk to the tip of the cue, this allows the player to manipulate the white ball.’

‘Why?’

‘Well, the white ball is very shiny, and therefore the cue tip requires chalk so that the tip grips the ball allowing forward, sideways or backward spin to be applied, if required.’

‘Why?’

'The object of the game is to pot as many balls and thus accrue more points, than the person you’re playing against.’

‘M’mmmm. Another question guv.’

‘Certainly Bing.’

‘Why?’

‘By winning you often get a prize.’

Immediately the ears pricked up and the lad showed far more interest in the proceedings.

‘Golly you mean you can win Nosh guv?’

‘Well as a professional, one wins money.’

‘Unlimited nosh guv!’

‘Um, well…..that along with other things.’

The room went quiet….the boy was deep in thought.
I broke the silence.

‘I think a cuppa would go down well.’

This is normally the ‘cue’ for Bingo to beat me into the kitchen in time to be sitting next to the small bonio tin. This he nudges with his hooter as I pass by, as a subtle reminder!
On this occasion, the lad remained in front of the TV.

Having reached a certain age, I  recalled that earlier I'd been wondering where I might have left the pair of glasses I usually keep by the computer.  Earlier I found the pair I keep beside the bed, actually beside the trusty DELL.  So, I took ‘em upstairs hoping the computer pair might have inexplicably changed places.  Nope.  I then reckoned I'd left them on the top of the electric keyboard.  Again, nope.  Although, I did find the pair that sit on the music stand on the piano downstairs.  On taking those back to their correct location, I was delighted to find the computer pair where the piano pair should’ve been!
I was about to trundle back to the computer to deposit the correct pair in their place when…..

‘Ulrika!’

‘Are you okay Bing?’

‘Yes guv I’ve been pondering…and like that old Greek cove, have solved a mighty poser!’

‘Ah you mean Eureka!’

‘No, guv I’m sure it was Archimedes.’

I decided not to pursue the point.

‘Jolly good…..um so what is it?’

‘Well, of course this is in the early stages guv,’

‘Quite, quite.’

‘But, I reckon if I could chalk the tip of my hooter, I’d soon get the knack of popping coloured balls into the holes!’

‘I see.’

‘Have we got a suitable table old poop?’

‘Um….no not actually.’

‘Not to worry, I reckon I could practice on the kitchen table, with my best squeaky ball.’

‘Right well…….’

The lad was off.

As I entered the kitchen…..there he was sitting beside the biscuit tin!

‘First things first, eh guv?’