Well Snookered....too!!

　

 

‘…………and another thing guv, I’m still wondering why someone hasn’t taken up my suggestion about different sounding snooker balls? It would be tip-blooming-top if each ball made a different noise and the holes they drop into, make sounds as well!

Bingo was in a talkative mood, we’d been watching a sports programme, where various sporting pundits discuss current sporting events.  Such chatter seems to get the lad going and…..well there you are!

‘IF you could make them play a tune as they clatter around the table guv, more points could be awarded!’

‘I see,’

‘Do you old poop, do you?’

‘Well...yes I do believe I do.’

Fortunately at this point an advert appears on the box, concerning a well-known dog and his insurance deals.

‘M’mmm.’ (heaven help us the lad's thinking again!)

Next programme, and it’s back to snooker.

‘The thing is guv, as far as I can see, folk generally, seem to take things terribly seriously.’

‘Well…..’

‘Am I the only chap to think hooting and honking snooker balls would be a riot?’

‘It has it’s virtues I’m sure…..’

‘Golly it would be tremendous!’

The lad decants from the couch turns and looks at me.

‘Imagine guv, a very quiet room, the chap at the table, chalks his stick, bends over the table and………..Poop - taradiddle, honk, woop-woop, Tara!’

‘You’re right Bingo.’

‘Tinkle - parp ,honk-honk, woop-clang-
crash, tinkle, crunch, woo-hoo………TARA!!’

‘M’mmmm.’

‘The TARA comes as the potted ball drops down the hole!’

‘Amazing.’

‘It is guv, it is……..sadly old pappy, once again, a brilliant idea goes to waste.  All because folk cant really envisage the remarkable benefit such an addition would bring to the game.’

Not for the first time, I am lost for words. This proposition, is of course an absolute corker, but is man ready for such a change?  As I ponder this, the lad wanders out of the room to investigate a couple of magpies that’ve been sneaking around the garden.

I try to continue with the match, but somehow without the accompanying noises, the game seems to be sadly lacking.

‘Still watching guv?’

The lad's back, a well aimed ‘WOOF!’ had sent the magpies about their business!