Theologically speaking....I thought Ethics was near London!

‘I’ve been wondering old poop’

My face remains a solemn mask as I reply…..nervously.

‘Y-yes?’

‘The thing is guv, have you ever wondered why there are such critters as whizzers and buzzers?’

By and large, the lad can bowl the odd off break, wrong’un along with his specialist googly when you least expect it. Generally I’ve managed to offer a reasonably suitable reply, but there are areas where old poops can struggle, and my thoughts at this very moment are running around that very ‘area.’

‘M’mmm well that’s a bit of a poser young chap.’

‘Is it of the type that requires a new ‘cuppa’ and possibly a snack or three, in order to facilitate an answer?’

Quite where Bing gets such words from, I don’t know, but this was not the time to wonder, and naturally I took the proffered ‘time-out’ in order to give me space to come up with an apposite reply!

We both wandered through to the kitchen, and a suitable spot of ‘nosh’ was given to the lad, who in turn, trundled out into the garden to ‘dine’ alfresco.

So, what’s the sort of answer I can conjure up, that fittingly serves as a definitive reply to the lad’s poser?   Frankly, I’m really not sure whether it’s time to bring up the subject of theology, and the creators….um….er….creations?

Fortunately the lad was enjoying a sunny spot, and for the moment I find I have a little ‘extra time’ to contemplate.

It’s the flies that are the er…..‘flies in the ointment.’ They tend to flit about and generally cause annoyance when they decide to orbit around one, rather like unruly meteorites bowling around the solar system!   Bingo finds these ‘whizzers’ particularly troublesome, and can be found snapping with a will at such ‘close encounters of the third kind!’

A second cup of coffee was being drunk when the lad wandered in from the garden and I saw the familiar hooter and brow appearing above the table line.

There’s a look of great expectancy, and I’m just not sure whether it’s requiring an explanation or, wondering if a tit-bit might be in the offing.

‘I’ve been pondering your question Bing.’

‘Jolly good guv.’

‘Quite, quite…well of course the buzzers (bees etc.,) are gatherers of pollen, that’s the stuff that sticks to their legs as they flit from flower to flower.’

‘Oh right, I have to admit I thought they were all wearing yellow socks aged gaffer.’

That picture almost threw me, but I manage to trundle on.

‘Well it’s this pollen that allows the continued growth of plants and such, as some of it drops from their legs and thus helps the pollination process. ’

I look at the lads brow, it furrows and then rises, meaning (surprisingly) the lad’s happy with this explanation!

‘I see.’

‘AND most importantly makes a substance called honey, which is favoured by some folk.’

‘Oh you mean the stuff Alison pops on her porridge?’

‘That’s it Bing.’

‘I see.’

There now follows a very long pause while the lad logs this into his hounds info ‘in box’ and I brace myself……..

‘And what about them there, blooming flies guv?’

Dear reader, picture a misty field.   A slight wind is blowing, and very gradually, now and then, bits of the scene are revealed. Now you have an accurate picture as to the state of my mind at that moment!

‘Ah yes well know that’s a very interesting point young Bing.’

I’m trying not to panic as I notice the lad’s eyes becoming slit like, rather in the style of some inscrutable oriental.

FLASH – BANG and most definitely a WALLOP!!

An answer arrives through the letterbox of my brain, and slowly flutters down on to the welcome mat!

‘You see it’s like this Bing.’

‘Y-e-e sss?’

‘No-one actually knows everything there is to know about flies. As you know they whizz about and I reckon when they stop, they are trying to remember what it is they were in the process of doing.’

‘Rather like you guv, when you stand in a room trying to remember what it was that you were about to do?’

‘Yes, something like that.   The thing is they are mighty speedy in their actions and it’s hardly surprising, if they have minds that travel, perhaps at a slightly slower speed.’

‘So how come you’re forgetful, you could hardly be described as a speed merchant and as for flitting…...’

‘Oh I say that’s a bit harsh.’

‘Horses for courses guv.’

‘Don’t you mean Horseflies for courses?’

‘No guv, it don’t rhyme!’

‘Ah yes well um….anyway as I was saying. They seem to be quite efficient in clearing away matter discarded by others, They are in effect, nature’s dustmen. In this capacity they can be looked upon as pretty useful. Naturally this doesn’t stop them from being pesky little blighters, that can be extremely annoying.

‘So it’s not just me who finds them an irritant?

‘Not at all young fruit, I really don’t know anyone that speaks well of ‘em.’

‘Except other whizzers guv?’

‘Quite.’

‘The thing is old poop…….’

At this point a particularly persistent chap, stuka like, dive bombed the lad, and the chase was on.   Exit one whizzer closely pursued by the lad snapping at its heels!

Just a thought but…..

I think we can save any theological matters for another time.

...............Now what was it I was about to do?