French without tears............

The boy Bing is completely absorbed with his day. He arrived this morning, full of beans and ready to spend the time pottering around with the old poop.

As he arrived, so did ‘The Specialist!’

We are very lucky to have under our roof, a rather lovely baby grand piano. Despite it’s high-born background, (purchased from Harrods long, long ago) this delightful instrument, has patiently delivered the efforts of generations of pianists of varying standards, with a warm and pleasant tone!  AND most importantly without complaint! (Despite what a certain hound might say!)

The top of this worthy piece of percussion, has, over the years, not always been raised…..the extra volume afforded by such a manoeuvre, whilst thrilling, does rather heighten the mistakes of the pianist!  

Generally the top remains down and thus, various photos, pictures, sculptures and vases of flowers, along with coasters for assorted beverages, have had brief ‘homes’ upon the top.  This being said, there have been a few ‘accidents’ and despite regular polishing, the top is showing its age.

Today all this is being rectified, and the art of the French Polisher is being performed at ‘Lyons’ and a certain hound is being very attentive.

I have decided the air outside is far nicer, and am ‘pottering’ in the garden. The lad has wandered outside whilst there is a break in activities indoors.

‘Lummy guv, it’s all very interesting, but what's he trying to do?’

I explain the process, and add that, the piano will be very pleased when it's nice and tidy again.

‘Oh like a wash and brush up and such?’

‘M’mmm I guess so.’

The lad wanders o’er the grass and finds a suitable area to…..well you know what.

He returns….

‘So guv, that geezer is….’

‘You mean Mr. Morrell?’

‘Morrell?……M-o-rre-ll….m’mmm, he don’t sound very French guv and that’s a fact.’

‘Doesn’t not don’t, Bing.’

‘Hey I’m a hound…..doesn’t you know?’

‘Actually you were probably right in the first place….don’t you know.’

‘If you say so guv.’

‘Yes I……………

The inquisitive nature of the hound interrupts our chat, a new ‘pong’ wafts out of the lounge, and the lad, hooter up, trundles into the house.

 



Mr. Morrell is at work again!

(Time, as whoever it was, who first coined the phrase.......passed.)

Mr. Morrell has a fresh mug of tea, and I’m back in the garden with coffee and magazine. A certain chap wanders out looking puzzled.

‘So guv, where’s he come from?’

‘Queens Road.’

‘So he’s not French?

‘French?’

Well he’s a French Polisher?’

‘Yep.’

‘But not from France?’

‘Nope.’

‘I see. Well, that explains why he gave me a bit of a look when I popped in and said bonjour!’

It was all I could do, not to laugh out loud.

‘Well some folk would be a tad surprised Bingo.’

‘Really?’

‘Certainly Bingo, certainly.’

‘Well blow on my ears and make ‘em ruffle.’

There are times when I wonder, quite where the lad gets these expressions, from.

‘So he’s a French Polisher, but not French?’

‘Correct.’

‘Not a Queens Road Polisher?’

‘No.’

‘So, fount of all knowledge, and a bit more….why French?’

‘Well it’s thought such polishing originated in France in the Eighteenth century, although evidence also points to earlier such techniques being used in Renaissance Italy.’

(Knowing this might crop up, I’d had a quick ‘Google’ prior to the lads arrival….hush not a word!)

I receive the inscrutable stare that the lad gives, when he’s not sure if I’m allowing my imagination to whistle up a ‘tale.’

I stare back and hold my nerve.

‘So, ancient poop, in short, it might or might not be French originally, for all we know the Chinese might have invented it?’

‘Um…..possibly.’

‘M’mmm.’

Fortunately I reckon Mr Morrell requires more tea, and the lad trundles off to view the progress being made.

(Time, once again….trundled by.)

We are in the lounge admiring the finished article.

‘Well old codger that was very interesting.’

Mr. Morrell has packed up his dust-sheets, and accoutrements. We now have a very cheerful piano, positively gleaming and feeling mighty pleased with itself!

‘Yes Bing, a very fine job.’

The lad is ‘hootering’ around the gleaming woodwork.’

‘I think we need to keep all the windows open for quite a time yet guv.’

‘I’ve been thinking Bing, I should have asked Mr. Morrell to give your hooter a quick buffing before he left.’

‘Not even in jest guv……..not even in jest, and jest for that, I’ll happily accept a treat or three by way of apology.’

‘Fair enough…..c’mon.’

But the lad has gone

……………..and we all know where we will find him!