Damp....its attributes and problems!

As if to rub salt into the wound, or in this case more water into the seat of my trousers, via an unspotted puddle on a tree stump, (when will I ever learn!) I now have a hound before me, positively heaving with mirth!
 

‘Bing it isn’t that funny……really it isn’t.’

‘Oh ha,ha,ha,ha…….’

‘I don’t believe anyone could really find such an event so funny.’

‘He-he-he-he!!’

‘Well I’m sorry you must have a very warped sense of humour Bing if you find my present predicament so funny.’

I am now being eyed by the lad, who’s struggling to hold in a huge bellow of laughter.

‘I mean to say Bing it’s been months since I last forgot to check the damp properties of a prospective seat.’

‘Pa-ha-ha-ha-he-he-he-HA,HA – HA!’

‘Now that’s quite enough young man. I shall insist upon returning home if you continue to laugh like that.’

The lad now sits before me, making a huge attempt not to guffaw!

‘Are you alright?’

A new voice enters our scene, and I find myself gazing at a couple, out with their sheep-dog, who have wandered into our clearing. 

Bing immediately assumes the inscrutable expression of Charlie Chan, and I look sheepishly at them and their dog!

‘Ah yes, well I was just pointing out to young Bing here, that there really was no reason for him to laugh like a drain just because I'd accidentally sat on a puddled log!’

They look on me with wary gazes, their dog cocks her head at Bing, who gives her a charming smile, so full of innocence, that I know I’m now being regarded as a jibbering old poop.

‘No really.’ (I decide to dig an even bigger hole for myself.)

‘Bing has many times been amazed at my lack of observational skills. He has I’m afraid, on more than one occasion, warned me to be more vigilant’

The three (couple and dog) edge away from me, eyeing a suitable escape route, should I prove even more demented than I appear at present.

The lady finally speaks.

‘Such a sensible looking dog.’

‘Quite, quite.’ Says the man.

Their sheep-dog gives me a very wide birth, having determined I’m not suitable material for shepherding into a sheep-fold!

The boy Bing shrugs, and watches them rapidly depart.

‘You could have backed me up Bingo, I mean to say I didn’t want to appear a complete chump.’

‘Oh I don’t know guv, you were doing a pretty good job of it.’

‘Charming.’

‘Aged and most esteemed poop, you must realize by now, that any conversation with them would have been hopeless. Lets face it, they were jumpy enough with you, if I had put my two pence in, I fear we might have had a mini stampede on our hands.’

‘M’mmm.’

‘M’mmm indeed guv.’

We remain for a while in one of our favourite spots, my pal has a snack or three………………

and an old poops trousers start to dry.