My particular 'woad' to recovery!

‘Come on keep up!’

I am out with my new personal trainer.

I have I believe, mentioned at least once before, that I’m a fair weather ‘trundler.’ Whereas dear reader, I’m happy to profess it might possibly have been one of my ancestors, who was happy to stand naked and painted blue, on the white cliffs of Dover, shaking a fist and hurling insults at Roman legions and their ships. This particular member of that ancient line would I fear, now, not be up for that task!

No, as age starts to rest upon this old poops brow, I’m more than happy to take a back seat when it comes to such histrionic outbursts. However, my personal trainer will brook no such protestations, and expects his new charge to at least make some sort of effort, given the necessity to rearrange and reduce my body mass index and…so forth, and…..yes….suchlike!

By now I’m sure you’ll have realized the boy Bing has taken on this onerous task and at this moment is towing a panting idiot about the ancient confines of Lowtowns forest.

‘Let’s face it guv, there’s no gain without pain.’

I mutter something. This, fortunately is drowned by the clatter of a helicopter flying back to it’s base, close by The Owl – one of our ancient forests delightful hostelries. I smack my lips at the thought of a foaming pint, and receive a look of reproach from my coach!

‘Stone me Bing I can’t keep this pace up!’

Not for the first time this A.M. I receive a glance, so laced with incredulity, that I’m forced to smile back lamely and toddle along with the appearance of ‘joy.’

‘Frankly old poop, you have let yourself go. I’ve heard you tell of days, long passed, when you were as packed full of energy as a young whippet!’

‘Ah, yes well…..’

‘Aged guv, I find it very hard to believe.’

‘No, well…..um I do assure you that I was pretty fit once upon a time.’

‘Once upon a time…….sounds like the start of a fairy story.’

‘M’mmm. Well, nevertheless in my defence, I can produce photographic evidence, clearly showing a lithe young Tim.’

We are taking a breather, and my P.T. is seated before me, slowly, my breathing is returning to a fairly normal state.

I’m thinking it’s payback time, after all, an aged poop has to make sure he remains ‘top dog!’

‘Now Bing, as you know, it’s now up to you to set an example, when it come to dietary matters, and so I’m assuming you wont be requiring a snack or three at this juncture?’

‘Think what you like guv, but if you don’t hand over the goodies I’ll bounce you!’

‘Crumbs……’

‘That’s what I’m gonna make of my snacks!’

I am, I like to think, a fair minded sort of cove - and decide I have made my point……..

　
………..and meekly hand the goods over, receive a ‘wink’ as payment and prepare to ‘lumber’ on!

 

 

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