All will be well.......

"I'm dreaming of a................"

‘Spill the beans old poop!  What’s all this about ol' Pappy Christmas and all that and so forth and suchlike?’

I was in the middle of sorting out the Christmas tree lights. These always seem to get tangled up and in knots, even when I’m sure I put them away pretty neatly last 12th night!

‘Well Bing it’s like this.’



The lad sits very neatly before me, all attention.

‘Every year on Christmas eve, those that have been very good during the year…….’

A brow becomes furrowed, I continue…

‘Will more than likely receive a special present from Father Christmas.’

‘When you say “very good” ageing guv, what do you mean?’

I’m trying very hard not to grin, as I look at the earnest expression and slight trembling of lower lip.

‘Well young scamp, I should think that, providing a young chap receives a pretty decent report from certain aged old poops, then the jolly gent in red will cough up a suitable present or two.’

‘Or TWO guv?’

‘Maybe even three if the bearded wonder is particularly taken by the report received.’



‘Crumbs!’

‘Crumbs indeed.’

‘M’mmm.  So, in your considered opinion guv, would you think, by and large and so forth and such like, taking all in all, and allowing for the odd slip or three, that the lad before you, might be considered as, reasonably in line for such a beneficial coughing up of goodies?’

It’s my turn to ‘M’mmm?  

‘After all oh historic relic, surely he couldn’t fail to take in to account my patience, as I tow a wheezing geezer out on his constitutional?’

‘Um?’

‘I meant to say, chaps like me keep oldies like you on your toes and such.’

‘We’ll?’ 

‘AND let’s face it Tom and Angela would vouch for my exceptional behaviour at other times.’

‘Exceptional?’

‘Cor not half guv.  I don’t like to squeak my own tennis ball guv, but at the end of the day, frankly if I don’t.....who will?’

‘Well Bing….’

‘Yes guv?’

‘I reckon you should be……'

‘Yes, yes….’

‘Just about…….. okay.’

A tail wags furiously.

‘Just about okay is good in my book old puffer, I’ll take just about okay over not very likely any day of the week!’ 

Something tells me the lad will do mightly well this Christmas….but a little suspense is perhaps a very good thing………and such.




‘And so forth guv?’



‘M’mmmm.’

“Happy Christmas folks,

 and have a splendid New Year!”