Priority.............

The Art of Phew (with apologies to JS Bach)

I am now reaching that time in life when I should be aware of mortality, and the fact that the bulk of the books, music and so forth, collected over 50 odd years must be thinned out! Lets face it, one chaps joy is another’s pain – I fear many of my own ‘joys’ are of little interest to most sensible sorts, and the ‘cull’ must commence

Here I am then seated at the old desk, looking at the shelves around the room. Where do you start? It’s a hopeless job. With the advent of the computer and Mr Google and other search engines, much of what I have here is traceable on the www. Still here are books written by folk; mostly now long forgotten; usually towards the ends of their lives, prior to shuffling off and so forth. 

I’ve read their words with such interest albeit long after the events related. Most are of a theatrical nature, and I’ve learnt of plays, operettas, operas, ballets, musicals and artiste’s that have long passed into history. 

I’ve often wondered why I’ve always found all this so interesting. In truth I feel an extraordinary nostalgia for a time I never knew and yet find so entertaining.

I hear a familiar throat being cleared……



‘Excuse me guv, but are you going to be sitting there for ever?’

The Boy Bing is sitting very neatly in front of me.

‘Ah Bing.’

‘Ah guv.’

I sniff, I cough nervously, and the lad before me frowns.

‘Um, well it’s like this and so forth……..’

Nothing comes and I sink into the sort of silence that reminds me of school day’s and being asked by a teacher what had he just said?

‘As you know guv, I’m not much of a reader, I tend to glean my knowledge from the magic box, and the mutterings of the elderly gent currently listening to me.’

‘I see.’

‘Do you guv? Do you really?’

Folks, I’m not sure whether this old chump should be admitting to such conversations with the boy Bing, but frankly, some of you have followed these little rambles for some years now, and are well aware of my ability to deal with the chap seated before me!

‘Well Bing……’



‘Guv, I think it only fair to say that the books upon your shelves are like old pals, and impossible to root ‘em out, and get ‘em right orf out of it and such.’

‘Well…….’

‘Periodically, I enter this room and find you staring at them, with a very odd look on yer wrinkly brow.’

‘Um……’

‘In short old poop, give up and give the front of the shelves a little dust, like you usually do……and……’

‘And…….?’

‘Get a shift on………..snooker’s next up, and there’s a lad that need’s a snack before the excitement begins!’

Yes he’s right of course, I’m a hopeless case…….





‘Oi, have you forgotten where the snack shelf is?’