It just had to happen.....and of course it has....and such!

‘Have you a moment Bing?’

‘Probabubberly guv, what’s afoot?’

‘Twelve inches, ha-ha!’

‘I’ve know idea what you’re talking about old wrinkly chops.’

‘I see. Well let’s start again.’

‘Right-ho.’

‘The thing is young lad, you need to supply an introduction for your book.’

‘Hurrah and such! Just a couple of minor points guv.’

‘Yes?’

‘What’s an introduction? AND more importantly…..’ 

‘Yes Bing?’

‘What’s a book?’

The gaze I get from the lad appears to be innocent, and yet I can’t help believing he knows very well their meanings.


‘You know the shelves in my study?’

‘The room where you go for a snooze and such guv?’

I choose to ignore this slight.

‘There are lots of shelves, and on ‘em are books.’

‘Ah so that’s what they are. I’ve noticed you stare at them a lot when you’re not snoozing.’

Another slight to be ignored and…. I plough on.

‘Well, most of them have an introduction.’

‘I see…….so what’s an introduction guv?’
‘It tells the prospective reader what to expect within the pages.’

‘Well blow me down.’

‘And in your book, a bit about you.’

‘Me? Well I’m a hound that lives in Lowtown and my pals are Tom, Angela and an Arthur. I have various duties of course.’

‘Duties?’

‘Well one very important one really.’

‘Which is?’

‘You know very well, Tom and Angela go to work, while an Arthur goes to school and so forth. Meanwhile, I come to spend the day with you at least twice a week.’

‘I see.’

‘On the whole old poop you are quite well behaved, but you obviously need the company of a hound to keep you on track.  In short, to stop you wandering, staring into space and snoozing.’

‘Oh I say.’

‘You can oh as much as you like old puffer, but that is what I do.’

‘And Alison?’

‘Well, she’s the sensible one in this ‘ere establishment.’

‘I see.’

‘Do you guv, do you?’

‘I think so.’

‘Right so let’s get this introduction sorted.’

‘I think we’ve got enough for the moment Bing.’

‘Really?’

‘Yes.’

‘Tip-top, so how about a snack?’

‘Snack?’

‘Well, we book people require some form of sustenance.’

‘Sustenance?’

‘Certainly guv, certainly.’

Bing has gone….I’ll find him sitting very neatly next to the snack tin.

Meanwhile….

Welcome to the World of Bing!