With apologies to Mr Smetana!!

The boy Bing has had a snack or three, and wandered off to get an update on the Tour of Oman (cycling.) Therefore I quickly rustle up a late breakfast for myself.

Toast in the rack, various possible spreads sit on the kitchen table, fresh tea in the pot and some scrambled eggs await.
I raise the first morsel to my lips…..a pair of eyes and a hooter appears opposite!

‘Smells good guv.’

‘Bing I thought your were……’

‘Quite old boot, that was I admit the intention, when quite suddenly, a delightful zephyr graciously aided the scents of the nosh arrayed before you, they gently caressed and then wafted up my conk.’

‘I see.’

‘And so it came to pass that my agenda was quickly altered!’

‘M’mmm.’

‘So what’s on the go old bloater?’

‘A late breakfast for yours truly.’

‘And?’

‘And as far as I’m aware, nothing for the twitching hooter not 3 feet from me.’

‘Really?’

‘Bing, you’ve done pretty well for yourself this morning, and having within the last few minutes, taken delivery of a snack or three, I do believe it’s my turn to stoke up.’

‘You’d think so wouldn’t you?’

‘I not only think it Bing, I can assure you that the goodies placed upon this table are imminently due to rest in my tum!’

‘I see.’

‘May continue?’

‘Continue away old smiley chops.’

I continue. The scrambled egg is well on it’s way when…..

‘Golly did you hear that guv?’

‘Hear what?’

‘I think it might have been distant thunder.’

‘Really?’

‘Well, it might have been some chaps stomach rumbling.’

‘M’mmm.’

‘You don’t sound convinced?’

‘I’m not.’

The lads head disappears, and seconds later I hear a very low grumble.

‘Crumbs guv what was that?’

‘You.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Bingo, even I’m not that easily tricked.’

‘Honest guv?’

As ever, I've realized  I'll not get any peace. I speak.

‘I guess I might be open to delivering a special snack from the cupboard to a certain chap.’

The eyes and hooter reappear.

‘You know it makes sense guv.’

It’s true, and having taken delivery of a ‘special’ treat my companion trundles out to the garden to find a pleasing spot where he can enjoy his.........

‘Bartered Bribe’ 


(As I said at the beginning……Sorry Mr Smetana.)