Not quite an O'Henry tale..........

We have, in the past, touched on the uneasy truce between a hoover called ‘Henry’ and a chap called Bing.

I’ve been trundling around the hall and front rooms with the former, whilst the latter has strategically withdrawn upstairs, to check on who’s wandering up and down the street. (I say this, but am aware that from time to time, a certain head peeps from the return landing, ‘tut-tuts’ and returns to his advanced scouting position.

Hoovering is a job that has to be done, and even the boy Bing is quite happy to stretch luxuriantly upon a freshly vacuumed rug!

Time passes and finally the ‘roar’ from ‘Henry’ subsides and peace return to ‘Lyons.’

‘Thank goodness for that guv!’

I have completed my task and ‘Henry’ is now occupying his ‘parc fermé’ slot, and Bing is giving him a suspicious sniff.

‘Cor he’s a noisy type and such.’

‘Well Bing, he has a job to do, and quite frankly sucking up dust, fluff and so forth, is a task best left to those who thrive on such deeds.’

Bing thrusts a wrinkled noise in the direction of his protagonist and wanders away with a nonchalant air, and at long last I can enjoy a mug of coffee and…..

 

 

‘Ah-hum’

A throat is cleared.

‘Ah Bing, can I help you?’

‘As it happens old poop, indeed you can.’

‘I see.’

‘Do you guv? I have to say I’m surprised.’

‘Really?’

‘Well I can see the tin, old fruit, but the contents are still within it, and not within me!’

‘I take it, you’ll be thinking of a snack?’

‘Or three guv, or three.’

I have long been wondering just when a snack or two became three, but dare not speak of such matters to you know who, as the three could easily become four!

I have been told on more than one occasion, that, to put it bluntly I’m an ‘easy touch’ which, I find quite hurtful, as I can be quite…um…er… determined…I feel sure.

‘Oi!’

‘What?’

‘I said Oi!’

‘Do you know Bing, I’m sure it’s not the done thing to Oi! a chap who is in the process of getting ‘nosh’ for the other chap?’

‘Guv, I was merely trying to tug you back into the present as you had one of those looks on your face, that means you’ve gone missing.’

‘Oh I say.’

‘No guv, I say, and you do………get it?’

Somewhere I’m sure I’ve read it is vital that, in our relationships with others, we should when required, remind other ‘parties’ just who is, top dog!   I’m thinking this is indeed such an occasion and that now is the time to………..

‘Oi!'

‘Oh sorry Bing, what was I doing………..

‘N-O-S-H!’

Nosh is handed over and coffee drunk.